No Words
by LauraLarua
Summary: Fang/Vanille. Fang and Vanille are in love with each other but neither can find the words to admit it.


No Words

—

The sun was high in the sky and the clouds were rolling lazily. Vanille and Sazh had backtracked to a meadow that the group had passed through earlier that day and they went among the berrybushes with a bucket salvaged from the crashed airship. Vanille was humming to herself, her red hair glowing in the sun, and Sazh was eating the berries as they picked them. He had a leaf stuck in his afro.

"Mmm," he said, munching on a berry. "They said Pulse was all doom and damnation but they never said nothing about these things."

"Sazh, you're eating them faster then we pick them. Slow down."

"Take these out of my share, okay? I can't help myself."

"Oh alright. I guess there's plenty."

They went on, Sazh holding the bucket, Vanille tossing in the berries. There was a fluffy humming bird perched within the thicket and it watched the girl as she reached for the berries beside it. Sazh smiled at how it didn't fly away. Vanille giggled and they went on.

"So what do you think we'll be eating tonight?" Sazh asked.

"I don't know," Vanille said. "Depends on what Fang, Light, and the fella's catch."

"What if they don't catch anything?"

"Then maybe we'll skewer _you_ over the fire."

"Remind me to sleep with one eye open. What kind of cuisine they got around here, anyway? I don't want to eat no monsters."

"We've got all the normal things. No sheep or cows, not in the wild, but we've got rabbits and deer. Buffalo, sometimes. On the prairie, rabbits are the most convenient, but Fang said she was going to try the forest, so we'll probably be having deer."

"I've never had it."

"Don't worry, it tastes like anything else. It's good meat. What you have to worry about is frog."

Sazh gave her a glance. "Frog?"

"Mmhm," Vanille said. "Fang's a great hunter, but if there's no game then there's just no game. Frogs are the fast food of the forest."

"Damn. I ain't eating no frog, I'll tell you that right now."

"Don't worry. Fang's been on a hundred hunts and never once has she returned with anything smaller than herself."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Don't worry, Sazh. A bit of wild meat roasted over an open fire will seem like a feast compared to nothing at all."

"I guess it does sound pretty good. And berries for dessert, huh?"

"If you leave any for us, yes. What we really need, though, is salt for the meat. But there's no salt water around here for miles."

"Well, I ain't fussy. Salt, no salt. Just don't give me no frog."

"Fang likes salt. It'll be a shame to cook her hunt without it but I guess there's nothing that can be done. Oh well."

"You'll just have to cheer her up with some of these berries," Sazh said. He ate some more. "Damn they good."

"Fang doesn't really like sweet things."

"She seems to like you pretty good."

Vanille smiled at that. "She does, doesn't she?"

They continued along the berrybushes. Sazh fell silent, munching slowly, and Vanille was humming again.

"Hey, Vanille," Sazh said. "Lemme ask you something."

Vanille was reaching for high branch. "Yes?"

"You and Fang," he said, a bit awkwardly. "Just how close are you two?"

Vanille stopped. She looked at him.

"Maybe I'm wrong," Sazh said. "But from some angles it kind of looks like you ladies might be little more than sisterly, if you know what I mean."

Vanille visibly colored. "Well," she said slowly. "Fang's always been special to me."

"Special like what?"

"I don't know. She's all I got left. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. But I remember back on the Palmecia, when you met up with her again. Maybe the others didn't notice, but when you saw her you just plain lit up. I've never seen joy on a woman's face like that before. And after everything that happened in Nautilus…"

Vanille looked away.

"…well, it was good to see you smile. Truly smile. Made we wonder if there was something there, that's all."

"Well…" Vanille shifted her weight. She had a bunch of berries in her hands and she started picking them slowly, keeping her eyes down. "Fang's the only person I've ever really loved," she said. "It's like… It's like I need her. Like it's painful to be apart from her. The only reason I was able to leave her in the first place was because I thought I was going to turn Cei'th. I never would've left her if I knew I had to live with it."

"That's deep."

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just being clingy, but… sometimes it does feel like I'm in love with her."

"Hmm."

"But I'm probably just being silly, right?"

"You're a lot of things, Vanille," Sazh said. "But you ain't silly."

Vanille smiled and shook her head. Then she turned back to the berrybushes and went on picking.

"You want my advice?" Sazh asked.

"Okay."

"Maybe you should talk about this with her. Before it's too late, if you catch my drift."

Vanille's hands paused in their picking. They resumed.

"Anyway," Sazh said, popping another berry into his mouth. "I didn't mean to pry. Just curious."

—

Fang crouched at a set of tracks in the dirt. Lightning leaned against a treetrunk watching her. The forest was silent but for the random croaking of frogs and the occasional bird call.

"Bear tracks," Fang said. "Bearing west."

"Can you even eat bear?"

"You can eat anything if you're hungry enough." Fang pinched up a bit of dirt from the tracks and rubbed it between her fingertips. She rose and dusted her hands. "Come on," she said. "He's close but he's on the move."

Fang started off and Light followed.

"Let's just hope the tracks continue west," Fang said. "If they turn off north and thin out on the mesa we might have to settle for frog."

"No, _you'll_ have to settle for frog. I'll starve."

"Don't worry, we'll get him. I've been on a hundred hunts and never once have I returned to Vanille with anything smaller than myself. And I'm not gonna start now."

"At least Vanille's a good cook. Maybe it won't be so bad."

"She's the best cook. Although, this guy we're tracking might be a little tough. He's not a young bear."

"How can you tell?"

"Size of the footpad. Depth of the claw marks."

"Has she ever cooked bear before?"

"Sure. You know that pelt she wears around her skirt?"

"Yeah."

"It's bearskin, and you know where she got it?"

"You gave it too her?"

"Nope. She killed the beast all by herself with her bare hands. Well, bare hands and vocal cords. She was always good at magic. It was her first big kill."

"So she was a hunter too?"

"Yep. I don't think she ever really enjoyed the fighting, though. I think she just liked to explore. Curious girl, Vanille."

Lightning smirked at the word curious. "Curious, huh?" she said. "How curious?"

"You know, she's like a cat. She's got to look in every corner, turn over every stone. It's cute."

"That's not what I meant."

"What'd you mean?"

"Don't worry about it."

"No, what?"

Lightning stopped. Fang paused too and turned to her.

"I was just wondering," Lightning said. "Anything ever happen between you two?"

"Oh," Fang said. She smirked. "You mean…?"

"Yeah."

"Nah, nothing happened. I won't say I never thought about it, but nothing ever happened."

They continued on.

"Vanille's always been special to me," Fang said. "More special than a friend or a sister. But nothing happened."

"Does she know?" Lightning asked. "That you like her like that?"

"No."

"You never told her?"

"Of course not. Something like that would seriously freak her out. She's never even had a boyfriend."

"Never?"

"Nope. You'd be surprised, she's really shy that way. She never even liked to talk about boys."

"Maybe you're the one that would be surprised."

"I don't know. Sometimes I think our relationship would be better as more than friends. Better for both of us. I love her a lot more than I let on and it would be great if I could show her. But in the end… I just don't want to scare her off."

"It's hard to imagine you loving her even more than what you show now."

"Scary, huh?"

"Terrifying."

"And that's why I don't tell her."

They fell silent. They followed the tracks over a stream where the bear had paused to drink and they continued on down a rocky slope and through a clearing.

"You know," Lightning said. "When I first saw her with Hope… I thought she kind of liked him. But then I saw her with you. And…"

Fang glanced at her, not slowing her pace. Lightning shrugged.

"I'm just saying," Lightning said. "She might love you more than she lets on too. At least it looks that way."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, and I'm not the only one that's noticed either. Look, it's none of my business, but I think you should tell her."

"Yeah well," Fang said. "Like I said, Vanille will always be special to me. Friend, sister, whatever, I'll always love—wait."

Fang held out her hand and Lightning halted. Just ahead there was a massive windfall trunk and from behind it emerged a big brown bear. It peered at the two women with mean black eyes and growled lowly. Lightning drew her gunblade and Fang smirked with her spear.

—

Meanwhile Snow and Hope were fishing on the river. They sat side by side on the bank in the sun, jiggling their rods. Nothing was biting.

—

That day they had set up camp on the steppe. It was dusk. Vanille was arranging the fire and Sazh was hunched over a handful of berries. The other's weren't back yet and Vanille was constantly glancing for Fang. It was almost dark by the time they arrived, Fang and Lightning, coming up over a rise talking and laughing, each with a huge haunch of bear over their shoulders. Vanille looked up and Fang waved.

"Vanille!" she called.

Vanille hopped to her feet and waved back. "Fang!"

They still had to wait for the guys but they got started on dinner while they waited. Vanille put a pan of water to boil and Lightning took a separate pan and went to wash up. Fang set about skinning the bear haunches with a huge hunting knife. Finally Snow and Hope got back.

"Hey guys!" Snow said, brandishing a fish by it's tail. "I caught a fish, look!"

Vanille giggled. "Fang and Light caught a bear."

Snow looked at Fang where she was squatting in the grass over the massive haunch, covered in blood up to her elbows, grinning, hacking away with her hunting knife, and suddenly his catch didn't seem so impressive anymore. "Oh," he said. Hope only scratched his head.

Soon it was dark. They had the fire blazing and Fang went to wash up while Vanille got the meat roasting. She made a separate fire to cook the fish and they ate that for an appetizer and after a while the bear was done. They sat around the fire eating, talking, telling stories. Wolves began to howl and soon pairs of amber eyes could be seen twinkling at the edge of the firelight. Hope got scared and Vanille giggled at him. Fang threw the wolves pieces of meat. Afterwards they ate the berries while Fang and Vanille smoked long strips of the meat to take with them tomorrow. When they were done they smothered the fire and moved on in the dark for at least a mile before they put down for the night. They'd no sooner left the camp when wolves were yapping over the scraps.

They built another fire under a shelf of rock and discussed the watch. Fang and Vanille volunteered to go first. They sat on opposite sides of the fire on windfall logs while the others slept. Their eyes kept catching over the flames and after a while Fang patted the log beside her and Vanille came over and settled beside her. They snuggled and watched the fire. Cicada's chirped relentlessly in the night and soon Vanille had fallen asleep in Fang's arms.

—

In the morning they ate and washed and set out east. Fang and Vanille climbed a hill and stood looking out over the prairie using their hands as visors against the bright morning sun. When they came down they struck the group a new course that took them to a swelling river and here they turned along the banks and followed the rivercourse to the north. It was midmorning. At first they went on with Fang and Vanille in the lead. The two natives pointed out various landmarks for the group, retelling the myths they'd heard in their childhoods of the mountains and the rivers. But soon they were only speaking to each other. Reminiscing on the old days when they used to hunt and explore and camp in the wilderness just for fun. The others didn't interrupt them and soon the two women were lagging behind. Lightning led the group and after a while Fang and Vanille were growing small behind them. Then they were out of sight behind a grassy rise.

"Oh wait," Hope said. "Fang and Vanille aren't here."

Snow grinned. "You'd think our guides would stay up front."

But Sazh inched forward. "Uh, you know what?" he said. "Let's just keep going. It's a straight path and they'll catch up soon enough."

"What if they get attacked or something?"

Lightning strode past them. "They can take care of themselves," she said. "Let's go."

Sazh followed Lightning. Snow and Hope glanced at each other, shrugged, and jogged after them.

—

Fang and Vanille strolled side by side. The lush rivergrass came to their knees and tickled their legs and they could hear birds calling and the gentle sound of the river. They were still talking about the old days and after a while they noticed the group had gone ahead.

"Oh look," Vanille said. "We fell behind."

"We should probably catch up," Fang said. "We don't exactly have time to waste with these brands."

"Let's just walk for a bit, okay? Just me and you?"

"Well, alright. But let's pick up the pace a little. We don't want to fall too far behind."

"Okay."

And yet they didn't pick up their pace at all, they ambled along slowly and leisurely. They kept glancing at each other and one time their eyes caught and they looked away, smiling.

"You know," Fang said. "It's nice seeing you on Gran Pulse. You always looked a little out of place on Cocoon. You look better here. By the river. The mountains in the background. In the sun, with the breeze in your hair. You look like a flower."

Vanille blushed and smiled. "Thanks."

"I've never really told you how pretty you are, have I?"

"Of course, you used to tell me all the time."

"No, I mean like seriously. I've never seriously told you you're beautiful."

"I think you have, Fang. I remember heaps of times you used to say it."

"Well how come it feels like I'm only just realizing it?"

"I… I don't know."

They fell silent. They kept their eyes on the grass and they were both blushing a little.

"Vanille," Fang said. "There's something I have to tell you."

They halted. Vanille turned to Fang.

"What is it?"

"I…" Fang said. "I can't say it."

"Fang," Vanille said. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I know. But there's just no words."

Vanille cocked her head. Fang looked awkward.

"I, uh… Look, maybe it'll be easier if I just show you."

"Show me what?"

Fang took a deep breath. She looked up and down the river. Then she stepped up to the girl and put one hand on each of her shoulders. Vanille stiffened and her eyes widened and Fang leaned down and kissed her. Their lips touched. The river trickled behind them and a bird called overhead and when Fang pulled back Vanille stood there frozen with her mouth open slightly. Her face was bright red.

"Well?" Fang said. "What do you think?"

"I, um…" Vanille touched her lips. She blinked. "I don't know what to say."

"There really is no words, is there?"

Vanille stepped forward cautiously. She put her hands on the woman's shoulders and stepped onto her toes and kissed her. Fang's arms came around Vanille's back. They held each other and looked into each other's eyes. There really was no words. They kissed again, their eyes falling shut, and then they melted into a hug and just held each other.

—

The group had nooned at a stand of riverwillows downriver. Sazh sat in the grass chewing a reed and Lightning leaned against a treetrunk with a foot propped up. Snow and Hope were drinking water. When Fang and Vanille came strolling down the path they were holding hands and the group raised up to meet them.

"Bout time," Lightning said.


End file.
